Silence is the Loudest

Only when the buzzing, whirring, and commotion stops do my thoughts become a flip-book of noise. My mind remains jumbled and the pulsing behind my eyes grows stronger and stronger. Making even silence uncomfortable and loud. The loudest sound in the world. All the thoughts running through my head all at once and never stopping even to sleep. It's not about tuning them out or turning them off but distracting yourself long enough to fall asleep.

Backwards and Upside Down

It's frustrating as Hell that after all the trials, mistakes, and uphill battles that they still see the selfish, stubborn, horrible person I used to be. I have been trying to change the person you hated and despised. Sadly, I realize I have met too many people that fragment the shadow of the person you were, the person you are. I had way to many people break me they way you did, the way you twisted my words or turned my words against me or the way you used words to make me feel small. I don't like feeling small when my world is way too big.
 I was wrong to seek you out, I realized all too soon that you haven't changed and because of the people I met after you....I want to move forward not backward.