Silence is the Loudest

Only when the buzzing, whirring, and commotion stops do my thoughts become a flip-book of noise. My mind remains jumbled and the pulsing behind my eyes grows stronger and stronger. Making even silence uncomfortable and loud. The loudest sound in the world. All the thoughts running through my head all at once and never stopping even to sleep. It's not about tuning them out or turning them off but distracting yourself long enough to fall asleep.

Backwards and Upside Down

It's frustrating as Hell that after all the trials, mistakes, and uphill battles that they still see the selfish, stubborn, horrible person I used to be. I have been trying to change the person you hated and despised. Sadly, I realize I have met too many people that fragment the shadow of the person you were, the person you are. I had way to many people break me they way you did, the way you twisted my words or turned my words against me or the way you used words to make me feel small. I don't like feeling small when my world is way too big.
 I was wrong to seek you out, I realized all too soon that you haven't changed and because of the people I met after you....I want to move forward not backward.

Lullaby

I like this part of the day, when the sun isn't quite over the mountains. The time of day when people are still sleeping and all the ideas aren't taken yet. When I can just let my mind wander to those ideas and come back with pages and pages of a story. The pages are stored in the old cookie tin from Scotland, it's not just stories but letters as well.  The pages are kept safe and like Pandora's box they escape slowly and all at once when opened and read.

I like this part of the day, when the sky fades from black to blue and the world is still asleep.