Sky

I'm not mad, at least I am trying not to be. My body is pushing away the feeling it hates the most trying to change it into something that can easily be fixed with playing loud music in the car or eating a bowl of chocolate chunk ice cream or just standing in the shower letting the cold water send goosebumps down my skin. I don't want to feel hurt.
I can't feel that way because it makes me a hypocrite. Addiction is a deadly killer, best compared to a disease, no Contagion. It tears people apart and spreads doubt like a plague. Hurt like this doesn't go like the sting of a paper cut. Instead it's like a piece of blue sky on a cloudy day. At least I am trying to be positive, I always will have his back even when i am unsure. He didn't stop loving me and it's not my nature to betray him. I'm hurt and it's deep, deeper than i thought.