Motive

Writing seems to be the only thing that helps lately--talking seems pointless as if my lips and vocals can't form coherent words. Just stumbling and gasping like a babbling fool. No wonder it's uncomfortable to be around them. I would rather be drowning then speak or even be next to the opposite sex. It wasn't painful before, but now it is....mind racing and wondering if they too have an alternative motive.
Funny how everything comes out a journal against a blank canvas but not just a journal it's a poetic version of my thoughts. Somehow it's better this way--rather write about it then speak my own thoughts with them lingering so close behind me-- breathing insults and judgements down my back and neck---leaving cold goosebumps.