Best Friend

he never was the one , never the one to ask for a dance

never the one to buy flowers that would die the next day or cheap chocolate

never the one to aggressively seek revenge

He was just the one to talk about life

over coffee and checkers

Just the one to blast country favorites through the windows

of his truck

just the one to talk football, camping, fishing, and dutch ovens

just the one to understand falling away from a God

we don't understand

just the one to offer a jacket and an open door

just the one to fall asleep next to me in geology at 1.

He lived everyday like he was dying

and breathed every moment like the last song

he never stopped to change the person he was meant to be

he never dreamed dreams that were too small.

He held my hand and tickled me till i begged for mercy

he kissed me softly and sand forgotten country lyrics in the calm of the room.

He got me and i got him.

Nameless

Tears pour down my face

unable to stop the flow.

I cradle your hand to my chest

and wait for you to whisper back.

Your eyes are cold and sober

dead to the world that you helped create.

Dead to the smile you helped me find.

My tears course down your face

and i find myself clinging to you

as i cling to my own life.

Without

Just barely a moment

I glanced upon his face

he failed to recognize

I was the one he was searching for.

Yet, he stumbles past the gaggle of girls

adorned in trinkets from former lovers

he awaits a signal that doesn't come.

Again he stumbles on- looking for her.

Never realizing he passed the one without

a second glance.

I watch and wonder

wonder whether he will breathe in the scent of lilacs

and remember that I was the one

that made him realize that him and I

are a shared piece of different.

Whisper

I find my forehead pressing up against the cold of the window and wonder why the snow falls in silence.

I notice the twitching of my fingers as they hang in air and wonder why the sky remains so grey.

I feel the intake of breath through my lungs and wonder whether the air tastes the same outside of this room.

I smell the scent of unwashed sheets, pop-tart edges, sweaty gym socks and wonder why the earth revolves on its short axis to leave my days lonely- leaving me wanting the nights.

I touch the static ends of my wind-swept hair and wonder if he still longs to catch the strands as they danced freely from my head.

Today, I woke up and realized that wondering requires action. Today I dreamed a different life and I no longer needed to wonder.

WE

We all make mistakes, we act with impulsive, we are greedy and selfish- we are human. But, does that really excuse any of us from being so terrible. Humans are selfish and spiteful, the do things that hurt and breed hatred. We all do things that are horrible and we can't ever take them back. The past can't be relived and changed- yet, if we could go back we probably would still be the same selfish creatures we have always been. Always hurting, always defending ourselves- always on the offensive. If we had a choice we wouldn't change the things we have done- because all we are are selfish creatures.