Angel Baby

 Today I find myself missing you. 

The bad, the ugly, the scary, 

Missing the sound of your tiny not so big heartbeat.

Missing your small body that was going to grow so big.

Today, I find the tears are more on the surface 

I find myself still hating how my body failed you.

Your life was small but I can still feel your soul imprints in my heart. 

We talk about the future and how maybe one more try.

I’m not sure I can, I am scared, I’m terrified. 

The boys want a little girl or another little boy.

The what-ifs bounce around my brain, and I am thinking of you again.

I can’t lose another one.

I can’t fall down that abyss, that black hole one more time.

I don’t know if I’m strong enough, I was barely strong enough to lose you and replace you with another.

Today, I am thinking of you and my heart is heavy and hurting.

Today, I’m going through your memory all alone.

Philiophobia

 Your light so dim

I find myself probing and tugging on the tether our souls. Your heartbeat is slow and labored. Your soul feels faint...fading. My soul is pulling, treading water to keep us both afloat.

My body and being refuse to let you drown, 

I cling to your soul remembering the memories that were happy, sad, maddening, and gut wrenching. Our bond grows soft but I refuse to watch your demise....your supernova. 

I wrap you in a fierce embrace, tendrils holding you close. Your breath with mine. Slowly. 

I won’t let go. I can’t let go, even if it kills me

I can’t do that kind of hurt again.

Arcane

 The moon always so full of himself, but when was that ever a bad thing.

Waxing and waning , disappearing for his own selfish reasons, looking to impress no one but himself

or so it seems. 

Moon makes nostalgic company.

Night conversations, where he confides of the grief he feels. He mourns the glory of Sun.

Only stealing bits of rays to experience a kiss, a touch of her light, her fire.

And i tell him of you. How you make my soul feel alive, sharing in each others light.