" Sex is the best kind of natural high. So the saying goes, but I don't believe them for one second, especially when it is your very first time--they say it gets better, but no way am I trying it again to find out. It was beautiful and ugly all at the same time, but more importantly it meant more to me then my one- night stand partner. I had everything to lose and everything to gain--but mostly everything to lose. Sex changed me and I can't go back to the girl I was two days ago."
Fingers pressing ardent roots
of heated intertwinements
between sweat soaked bedsheets
untouched secrets whispered
between strangled breaths.
I regret the days spent
daydreaming of a touch
where a different kind of sex was
felt.
One not damaged by a half-hearted attempt
and a sex-crazed male
one not tainted by the
weeping of a girl forced to grow into her woman
skin.
One not tarnished by a broken promise
of no intimate relations until
adorned in white and sealed.
Two days--no sleep for I fear your presence
near.
It meant more then just
two strangers exchanging a mating language.
Innocence burned along with it
Human nature is what they say.
But those lips are scorched by fire as well
hoping to soothe their own restless errors
that now haunt them as demons behind
their backs.
Dreaming, no hoping that if they repeat
the fault of their kind enough
times it will actually become truth.
Your smell still lingers--ironed into the sheets
that now keep our secret.
I find I cannot breathe
for it wasn't only your mistake but a flaw
in my own mental makeup.
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